i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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