Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize