they need to just BURY HIM!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
