we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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