I'm gonna have a badass scar
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me