you guys were way drunker than both of me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize