Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  she's naming her girl london marie

  (519): View more from Ontario

  that kid will be born with a tramp stamp

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  (519): she's naming her girl london marie (519): that kid will be born with a tramp stamp http://tfl.nu/2dqp
  Replies (21) Good night (889) Bad night (2838)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I had better be fucking involved with step four.

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  (614): Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez. (1-614): I had better be fucking involved with step four. http://tfl.nu/poz4
  Replies (46) Good night (5230) Bad night (745)
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  (562): View more from California

  ...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are

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  (562): ...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are http://tfl.nu/3209
  Replies (11) Good night (4567) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked

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  (732): You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked http://tfl.nu/rb79
  Replies (3) Good night (1071) Bad night (2838) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.

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  (917): had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary. http://tfl.nu/06cp
  Replies (6) Good night (3766) Bad night (773)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.

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  (765): Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug. http://tfl.nu/xwvw
  Replies (11) Good night (1017) Bad night (3577) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.

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  (928): If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself. http://tfl.nu/jcct
  Replies (5) Good night (1194) Bad night (822)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Youre getting too old for this

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  (615): Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame. (1-615): Youre getting too old for this http://tfl.nu/7foh
  Replies (5) Good night (1399) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.

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  (925): We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely. http://tfl.nu/80gj
  Replies (7) Good night (2578) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier

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  (616): Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier http://tfl.nu/md1b
  Replies (2) Good night (1958) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE

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  (407): SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE http://tfl.nu/zlef
  Replies (8) Good night (1911) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"

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  (705): you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before" http://tfl.nu/z6i7
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (171) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.

  (1-905): View more from Ontario

  Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.

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  (905): I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th. (1-905): Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms. http://tfl.nu/74vi
  Replies (5) Good night (360) Bad night (255)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.

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  (304): omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected. http://tfl.nu/xm5d
  Replies (4) Good night (293) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And it tastes incredible.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And I have chest pains.

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  (708): I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee. (708): And it tastes incredible. (708): And I have chest pains. http://tfl.nu/iw1m
  Replies (6) Good night (1022) Bad night (319)

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