Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
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C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes