those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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