Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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