i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
