Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
