it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
did you just send me my own nude
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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