I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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