In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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