Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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