Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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