I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
