don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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