no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
