girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
