In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
