so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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