I just cut my nipple shaving
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
