How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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