me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
