i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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