remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
