You just made me feel so damn special
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos