Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
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She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
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Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?