i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
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I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
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I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.