1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
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the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
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I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options