What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?