She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush