physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize