He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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