Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
