Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Green mimosas i think yes
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
