just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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