Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm jealous of your bromance
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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