it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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