her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
