But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I CAN MOONWALK!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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