And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
