eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
false alarm. still invincible.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
