If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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