Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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