just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
