I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
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You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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