he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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