How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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