Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
