there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
