did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
