Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
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Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
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