Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
