Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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