I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
