the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
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The Swedes wanted a tensome.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
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I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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