Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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