my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
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