there's paper in my vomit.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
