The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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