I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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