you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
