Sponge bath it is.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
