he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
