just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
