Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
