This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
